Out Of Touch With Nature... Right In The Flow of Time

And yet in the Eye of the Hurricane... so to speak. 

This poem I'd written long ago, suddenly for no reason, popped up out of my Journal archives. I thought I'd share it:

Got invited to a nice party yesterday.  I got to play music, make some very nice Spirit Body Photos...

••••••••••• Friday, October 8, 2004 5:57:05 AM Pacific/Honolulu ••••••••••• 

I cry a tear for my mother with all her piles of stuff

maybe its a sign that she feels not loved enough

I cry tears for my sister, and the lazy man she wed

who doesn't lift a finger to help out, you might just think he's dead

I cry a tear for my father with his defibrilated heart, 

though it continues beating, no new path can he start.

I cry a tear for myself, with every mornings pain

that surely has me in its grips, I may never feel joy again

I cry a tear for our world, that lives with such misery, 

from the homeless to the hungry, to the rich that can not see.

I cry a tear for my country, guided by blinded fools, 

who feed their dreams with ignorance, taking nourishment from cesspools.

I cry a tear for humanity, in its tormenting change of life, 

and the countless souls that come once more to overcome thier strief.

 =========================  xxxx  ==========================

PS: My dad passed August 14th, 2007. I went to a Kaballah Workshop and discovered that Aug 14-15 is a sacred and special time.

I tweaked it a bit, but other than a word or two, it's as I wrote it!

Day before Yesterday was-is momentous (Tuesday) in that Emily (accompanied by drama) came to pick up her things.  I told her I loved her again... and that I'm her friend. She came after calling that she was on her way to pick up her suitcase, that just after her father sick'd the police on me telling them she's a missing person (to him). As a result the cop called about her and wanted me to fwd emails. 

I had been worried since I'd not heard from her for a week... and so called her mom and dad since emails to Emily were not responded to, and no call from her came in in response to phone messages. It reached a week of no contact with me housing her stuff (only, rather than helping her with a place for her to stay as well as her bags). So I sent out an SOS. Her military father considered my call to him a thankful heads up. In his own words, "We've been estranged for three years" and now "she's also estranged from her mother... we thought she was with a school friend." They had no idea she was on Maui.  Whoooops! 

The next thing I know Emily makes contact, followed by a call back from her father. I told him what I knew and things escalated. He wanted me to release her things to some guy. I told him I have an agreement with Emily to hold them for her and when she comes to get them, I will be happy to honor my word to her. I am not comfortable releasing her things to a stranger.  I was fearful for her well being or I would never have brought her parents into it. If only E was a bit more responsible and considerate.

There are lessons to be learned for sure.... If you don't trust someone, what's it worth? She trusted me with her stuff.  I trusted her with access to my studio. I want to help this beautiful young spirit since she's the best model I've worked with in a long time.  Had she revealed a bit more about her situation (which she began to, but then pulled back), her strict father finding out her whereabouts might have been avoided. Do you think that its a good thing to part company with a parent to the point of them not knowing where you are?

I suggested to him that maybe she just needs a bit of help to buy a car;  since she has secured a job with is very difficult to do on Maui. He told me that's your point of view. Then he called the cops and told them to call me.  Emily is a great gal, but unfortunately she crossed a few of my boundaries with broken agreements  (on more than one occasion which greatly saddened me) because that prevented my trusting her. So, she came and got her suitcases and other things. I gave her the missing persons report number as well as the cops phone and email. 

I hope she will say in touch but I kind of think, despite my offering to employ her modeling services for actual cash, Emily is moving on. Time will tell as it always does. I'm glad to be out of yet another drama created by hosting a needy soul.

Meanwhile Yesterday was Momentous. I got to visit briefly with Stefani and David and meet their friends. My day began at 3am when I finally finished making reservations for travel to my Mom's 90th BIRTHDAY Celebration! Finished the party invitation, bought 4 new tires: ($400), got blood taken for first time in too many years on the way to the Dentist in Lahaina (Dr. Brath) who finished filling my tooth.

I hung out (after replacing my little wooden travel pipe I had to buy for the third time - as I keep losing them) at Barns and Nobel setting up my laptop office and working until Stef and crew arrived.  Then continued to hang out and work until darkness hoping to find a spirit Body DNA model. I found something better.  The waitress for the next table was hypnotizingly beautiful. I asked if I might photograph her and if she was available. She told me she worked three jobs, but did give me what I hope is her real number. Time will tell. It always does. (damn, she never responded to my messages left on a "naked" voice mail, i.e not personalized.)

Meanwhile, things have slowed down with VMI team building. JP is coming over tonight to make music. Something I haven't done with anyone for a year as the days of Shiloh Bones Band rehearsals are long gone... FOR NOW... time will tell when the music cycle will come round for me again.  Hopefully, my potential new friend will also become my muse. Emily almost had that role, but alas, she is lost in her own world. Are you? Am I? Time will tell. Why? Because...