Thursday, June 16, 2005

State of the Heart

••••••••••• Wednesday, June 15, 2005 11:47:07 AM Pacific/Honolulu •••••••••••

yesterday was an awesome day. I was up early depressed and in great physical and emotional pain... I called Joyce to see if she wanted to swim. she offered me things she was leaving behind. i picked her up and shared my depression with her. She offered if I need to cry, she would hold me... I thanked her and felt a bit better, but still kind of numb... undirected and vague about everygthing. we swam, a hugh turtle showed up at Ulua just after we got in. She was frightened and I hung out with it. We left, I dropped her off and want home and lay down, not motivated to do anything. Laying ont he couch, John Kimmey called and came over to get me high.

It was so nice of him. We had dinner together after little beach and I owed him some money. so I gave him the money back and some to purchase new medicine for me. The phone rang. it was Kate McCallum, founder of the conscious creativity club I had discovered on the Net. I was corresponding with her as there is such similarithy of our ideas.... she recounted that her partner and she met after she delivered her thesis on social affects of the media... on July 11th, 1980 the same day my vision came through.

I put her on the speaker phone and we explored our commonalitys of ideas and work. She offered to look at my projects and creativity and maybe do something to advance my "career" in Hollywood as she works placing content properties of books, movies and other entertainment properties with networks, film companies and the like. it was magical that she was there when john could share.

The connection was broken suddenly for no apparent reason. JK had to leave just as the phone was ringing. I was surprised when the voice was not Kates! It was Agnes (Anahita) calling to solidify her dropping off some Mangosteen Juice (Xango), and a check to repay me for my services of (5+ hours) that saved her a $600 repair bill on her Mac. I was really so happy to have been able to fix the machine. The shop said Hardware issues, I fixed it by tuning her software and re-installing the system. As with most new mac users, moving/changing the folder structure,m will put some things in the wrong places, and can wreck havoc with the system.

We ended our call just as Sheridan arrived. I had shared that Well-Max healed my pneumonia when the 4 rounds of antibiotics could not. I helped her order some online. She was tired and left after a brief lounge in the chair my mom just gifted me with: soft, swinging with back rest and foot stool that also swings. Like sitting on a cloud! I'm sitting in it now <smile>. I am sexually attracted to her, but there a few things that stop me from going there so I don't. I was tired to so I was on the couch resting (thinking we could cuddle, get out the futon) but I didn't want to start anything (yet) as I had arranged a spirit body photo session and had to get going soon. The photo session didn't come to pass.... but the magic did!

I had prepared for the day, packing my camera with batteries (recharged) for various flashes to do my spirit body performance light painting photography, my little vagabond travel guitar kit (with 505 box pre-amp) record (musical)_ and shaker Egg for the jam at Divinos. Put the Powerbook that Apple just appeased me with after they fucked up royally, into the shoulder bag I won at a Christmas Party Gary Geller took me too during a visit to LA two years ago. The bag also had my video camera kit for broadcasting or timelapse. I felt like a camel. I was grateful for the pain killers that I use to keep going despite considerable and constant pain.

I drove to Baldwin Beach and played with Livid Union, sitting in my car waiting for the model to show up. It just so happened I had this feeling the car in front of mine was hers. Sure enough, up she walked to inform me she wasn't feeling well and will pass on the picture. I was having fun with Union; kick ass video disk jockey software that I was given to explore for KidCast use and review in Creativity Cafe's review area.

I went to Mana foods, the meeting place on Maui where magic often happens and the coconut wireless unfolds. An awesome looking woman was in my path... I took her in. Long black braids down to her thighs added to her exotic look. I saw she had a passport and inquired, where are you from? "Netherlands" i read when she wordlessly tilted the passport for my benefit. "I was there!" I shared thinking how perfect a model SHE would make. She paid for her groceries with a money order ($100) and dashed out without waiting for change ( or my next question). The cashier ran and retrieved her. While the $70 change was being given, I asked if she was late for a hot date? she replied her friend was waiting... so I knew that I she had other plans and my photo session would have to wait.

I drove to Divino's and the usual gang was there except for LES. The keyboard was left open so I sat down to play it... I looked up and there, in divine synchronicity, was the woman from Mana foods! We smiled at each other and I reached out and took her black and cold hand and thought, wow, I've never had sex with a black woman, and I am totally attracted to her! Then I was at the Mic singing and she stepped up to the plate and hit a home run on one of the other mic's. Her voice was angelic, high, jazzy and filled with soul as she scatted. What a reward when the song was over and she needed to hug someone. I was there!!

So my day went from depression, miserable in pain and alone upon waking... my normal state of everyday angst, which usually triggers the depression, to being with one of the most beautiful women on earth having a voice to match (we shared one mic and harmonized at one point to my greatest pleasure). After the song she needed that hug just like I did! Nothing works better than god and the magic of the day filled with friends for taking away the depression at lest for a moment, and also appreciation from a woman or three (in one day is so rare), getting hugged, and nurtured by friends, and connected to team players along the way of the day. People like Joyce, the turtle (with a touch of filobroma in its eye), JK, Sheridan, Tamera, I-Jesha (netherlands) and of course the music was what turned it around for me. It was a lucky day... or was it a message from Spirit who said, the best is yet to come. Speaking of Spirit, I have a meeting with Donna (aka Spirit) so I have to dash off. Stay tuned for what unfolded with that healing energy.... After all, don't we all have something to heal?

(written ••••••••••• Thursday, June 16, 2005 9:31:35 AM Pacific/Honolulu •••••••••••)